Self Esteem is an issue for many women. It does not descriminate against age, race, or religion. It does not have a time limit, nor a medicated cure. It is simply that, an issue.I momentarily questioned whether or not I would address this subject on my blog, and making it public because for me it is a very raw and personal issue. Especially being a birth mom.
After the heart(less) man (aka: Gavin's birthfather) I have found a breath of fresh air in my current boyfriend ( YES, there is hope ladies!) He is amazing and truly a blessing to have in my life. He treats me with respect and no matter if im wearing sweats with no make up or volumized hair with stilettos he reminds me how beautiful I am. Sounds Perfect right?
Well, quite the contrary it is not. Not because of anything he does, but rather that annoying voice in my head (not the conscience) but rather my self-esteem sometimes. I'm not trying to brag, but it is typically agreed upon that my boyfriend is rather attractive. And in turn has had some pretty attractive ex-girlfriends. It's not that I am jealous of them in any way, but it does create some self-doubt and insecurities. Not to mention, He has NEVER dated a birthmom.
I have always heard that men love confident women, and I assure you in my capabilities I am.
But while he is telling me how he thinks I am beautiful all that is going through my head is the the cellulite, the toning needed, and most devastating for me..the stretchmarks on my stomach left from pregnancy.
It's not even that I did not use coco butter while being pregnant, because believe me I swore by that tip. But I have to fact the fact that
I WILL NEVER FEEL comfortable ENOUGH TO BE ABLE TO WEAR a 2 PIECE EVER.
It's a hard fact to face though. The thought of ever being intimate against now scares the bajeesus out of me. (Maybe that's a good thing haha) But when it comes time to, I honestly feel as though I will have a heart attack.
I have struggled with self esteem issues, like most women, for a long time, but a pregnancy didn't exactly help with that. It is though an issue I will have to learn to face, and an issue I will one day overcome.
Final Thought:
Although I do struggle with my imperfections, I have found someone who accepts me for me and finds me beautiful throughout my faults. That is one thing I wish I could stress to more young women. They are all beautiful in their own way, and they DESERVE someone who thinks the same. It is so important to find someone who will respect you and not put you down. Studies say that the more we hear something, the more we believe it. So why not have those things be positive? You are a beautiful, strong woman. Now go say it in the mirror! haha and remember, before others can love us, we MUST love ourselves!
Have a good one.
-Joniece
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