Adoption not the option?

The other day I got a touching e-mail from a woman. She was so sweet, and she had explained to me that she had not chose adoption, but rather decided to parent. Having chose adoption myself, and being an adoption advocate, some may think that I am rather bias towards that decision. And in a way... I won't necesssarily say they are wrong, HOWEVER I have always stood by my opinion that adoption is not always the option..for everyone.

Adoption is a great choice! Many ladies as well as myself who have made that decision will rave about how great it is... now.. a few months/years later down the road after the raw emotions of placement have subsided. And minus some certain circumstances would probably recommend ( NOT Push) that option to any young mother out of wedlock. HOWEVERRRRRR... there are other situations, where the mother decides to parent, and they do an amazing job. I would never say the choice they made was wrong for them. They made their choice out of love as well, just a different one than mine.

I want to briefly talk about a girl I grew up with. I have known her since 5th grade, she got pregnant when we were seniors in high school. I judged her, very harshly, way too harshly than I had any right to. For it wasn't long after that I found myself in the same situation. She was not married, and was on and off with her boyfriend at the time. Fast forward 4 years down the road, she is married to that same boyfriend (happily it seems), she has a very good job, has bought a nice house, has an adorable almost 4 year old son, and another baby on the way. She is the prime example of what I hope every teenage girl,who decides to parent, becomes and the life I would hope they have. For her, adoption was not the best choice. I completely commend her on the hard work, dedication, and sacrifice she has made and continues to make on a daily basis.

There are however, the cases where I think adoption is the best option for the child. If the child is in danger especially, and more importantly if the birth mother deems it is what she wants for her child, then by golly, it is definitely the right decision.

At the end of the day, stereotypes say woman who parent can tell a birth-mom that she took the easy way out, that she was being selfish, and should have dealt with her choice (But don't ever tell me this because I will probably freak out on you!haha). Birth moms can tell women who decide to parent, that they are the ones being selfish, they are irresponsible, and that the child will most likely end up suffering. I want to end those stereotypes here. A mother is a mother is a mother. Minus the few exceptions (of people who really don't deserve to be mother, like abusive ones), we really aren't all that different. We did what we were supposed to do for our child, sacrifice and LOVE.

So today on this birthmom blog, i choose to commend women who did not place, but rather those who were brave in a different way and took on the crazy challenge of raising a child! You are also so amazing :) And we are so proud of you for your hard work.

I know parenting at a young age may be hard, but from what I hear, it is still just as amazing as if you were 30 years old or older. Never take for granted all the days you get to spend with your little one, never forget to tell them you love them, never forget that all your tears, and all your hardwork is for that very special child. Never forget you have support! And at the end of the day when you want to scream your head off, and cry, and sleep, or all at the same time, what a priviledge you have!















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