To give up a child.

This is one of of the very few picture I took from my personal camera the day Gav was born.
Shortly after leaving UT, my camera deleted the rest of the pictures.
I have three.
I cherish this one the most. It was the first picture EVER taken of him.
I love him.

So before I get started on my post about the "correct" adoption lingo between giving up and placing... Let me just say I announced ON FACEBOOK... that I was in fact a birth mom. It was kind of scary (just a little tiny bit), and I thought momentarily about instantly deleting it. But now I feel relieved that I have finally decided to share the amazing gift I have of adoption. This is followed by many other FB statuses confessing I have a son that never made it to publication. It did not come too soon, nor too late. It was the perfect time. It will probably kick start a new part of my journey as a b-mom and I will probably write a post about it sometime this week (but don't quote me ha ha) Here we gooo....

Ever since I was pregnant I was under the impression that it was offensive to say "giving up a child for adoption" rather than "placing a child for adoption". Not that I think the reasoning behind it is wrong... but well, I believe the offensiveness of that statement is all a matter of opinion. Because let me tell you.. in placing my son for adoption.. I gave up a lot.

I gave up the ability to see his first steps, his first words, and his first day of school. I gave up being a mommy, having and feeling the unfailing love and bond that child has with their mother on a daily basis. The happiness of knowing that your their saving grace and comfort blanket when they are scared, sick, or sad. I gave up my mom and dad's joys of seeing their biological grandchild's special moments in life. I gave up my flesh and blood.

It perhaps used to offend me a little, the differentiating in the phrases based on adoption. But not anymore. In fact I have chosen to now say I have given my child up for adoption. I do not think it implies I carelessly left him on the doorstep of someone's front door, but rather that I have given him up to something better, and to someone who can provide what he deserves. Everything he deserves.

I cannot technically say I placed him for adoption, because as I have stated in my previous posts I was not strong enough to place him in the R's Arms.

I looked up Giving up on www.dictionary.com, and this was my favorite definition.

give

Show IPA verb, gave, giv·en, giv·ing, noun

verb (used with object)

3.to place in someone's care:

September 2nd, 2008.. I gave up my life, I gave up my heart, I gave up my flesh. and I will NEVER be offended if someone uses that terminology around me.

Love,
Joniece

Just a reminder, this is a pretty blunt and raw emotion blog. If it ever seems like it portrays any negativity towards the R's or my adoption in general, it is not that way. I want to make it VERY clear all the time how thankful I am for them, my open adoption, and the way things turned out in life. I'm very happy and could not have asked for a better family!

ALSO:
As always, this is solely my opinion. Please do not go around using this terminology loosely as it may offend other birth moms, the best way to avoid this is to ask. thank you :)



















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